1 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,639 Whoa, whoa, whoa, golly. 2 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,999 Well, what if Donald shouts at me? 3 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,240 What do I say, Lammy? 4 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,199 Just be yourself, Prime Minister. 5 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,240 Yourself is who everyone likes. 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:29,759 Hello? 7 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,760 Ah! 8 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:39,199 Oh, sod that scary, scary, wonderful president. 9 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,719 Why is it so blubbered difficult to talk to? 10 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,319 Sir, just be honest and tell him we 11 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,719 can't send any more ships to the Strait of Hormuz. 12 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:49,959 Oh, crumbs. 13 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,839 I just hate conflict so much. 14 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,599 Are you referring to the war or this phone call? 15 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,479 Isn't there a way I can not do both? 16 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,639 I just want to keep him happy, Lammy. 17 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,679 You don't understand him like I do. 18 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,400 I can change him. 19 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,839 I don't think the feeling's mutual. 20 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,279 He can't stop insulting you. 21 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,999 He called you a coward. 22 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,359 I'm out of my depth here, Lammy. 23 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:23,199 How did Liz Truss make this job look so easy? 24 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,399 Look, we were worried you'd lose your nerve. 25 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,799 So we've taken steps to help you gain unfounded confidence. 26 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,119 Mr. Prime Minister, meet your Gen Z advisor Atlu Hoopy. 27 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,119 What's up, Starmzy? 28 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,639 Bow, bow, bow. 29 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,879 Atlu Hoopy is the most qualified person we have. 30 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,239 He is the only person under 23 who voted Labour and would 31 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,599 so again in the next election. 32 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,319 You're not voting for the Green party? 33 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:49,999 Nah, my dad works in oil. 34 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:54,159 No cap, Starmzy, I love you and I do hearts this way 35 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,319 with my thumb. 36 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:57,999 Thank you Atlu Hoopy. 37 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,959 I love you too. 38 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,319 Sir Keir is trying to set boundaries with the president 39 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,079 while preserving their special relationship. 40 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,319 I see, facts, facts are key. 41 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,919 So you're looking for more of a special situationship. 42 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,479 OK, I've got you covered. 43 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,999 I'm an expert in messy drama. 44 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,520 I've been in three throuples and I'm currently gay. 45 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,239 First thing you gotta do, you got to forget the phone call. 46 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,599 These days, it's all about the voice note. 47 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,359 I'll try anything. 48 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,359 I'll do anything. 49 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,480 Except take a stand. 50 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,639 That is so Kier-coded. 51 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,240 Hey, listen, take the phone and just speak from the heart. 52 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,160 Hi, Donald. 53 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,719 I'm afraid I can't go to war with you. 54 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,479 But that doesn't mean we can't still be chums. 55 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,839 America and Britain have a long, proud tradition 56 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,919 of cooperation, and nothing can take that away. 57 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,039 Remember the good times. 58 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,239 Remember D-Day. 59 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,959 Remember Live Aid. 60 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,719 Remember Iraq-- 61 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,560 For the first week, and then none of the rest. 62 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:19,079 Remember Helen Baxendale on "Friends." 63 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,559 Remember Hugh Laurie on "Friends." 64 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,399 Remember the episode of "Friends" 65 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,119 where they all came to London. 66 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:32,919 Remember the one where Joey put on all of Chandler's clothes. 67 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,360 That was a funny one. 68 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,639 Get back on track, Sir Kier. 69 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:40,999 Yes. 70 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,679 Most importantly, remember the one where Ross and 71 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,199 Rachel were on a break. 72 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,719 I think perhaps that's what we need. 73 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,519 Not forever, just until you've got all 74 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,519 this war out of your system. 75 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,639 Listen, we want different things. 76 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,799 I know how badly you want to start World War III, 77 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,319 and that's great. 78 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,919 You should absolutely do that. 79 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,359 But we can't be a part of it. 80 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:14,159 You can, however, use the Naval bases whenever you want. 81 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,280 Mi basa, su basa. 82 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,679 Sick job, K-dot. 83 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,839 Good work, Sir Keir. 84 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,399 You did the bare minimum. 85 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,919 And that's all people expect. 86 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,599 Thank you, Lammy. 87 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,639 It just goes to show, while we may not 88 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,319 agree with everything America does, 89 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,359 we can still be civil and embrace 90 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:48,079 their wonderful, unproblematic culture. 91 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaking of which, live from London it's Saturday Night! 92 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:10,720 It's "Saturday Night Live" with Hammed Animashaun. 93 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,119 Ayoade Bamgboye. 94 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,439 Larry Dean. 95 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,479 Celeste Dring. 96 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,799 George Fouracres. 97 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,559 Ania Magliano. 98 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,599 Annabel Marlow. 99 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,119 Al Nash. 100 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,719 Jack Shep. 101 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,639 Emma Sidi. 102 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,119 Paddy Young. 103 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,399 Musical guest, Wet Leg. 104 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,999 And your host, Tina Fey. 105 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,919 Ladies and gentlemen, Tina Fey! 106 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:01,999 Thank you very much. 107 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,319 Oh, my gosh. 108 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,519 I am so excited to be here in London. 109 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,559 It is an absolute honor and honestly kind of historic. 110 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:15,279 Guys, I am the youngest person ever to host "SNL UK"! 111 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,999 Again, my name is Tina Fey. 112 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,839 Here in the UK-- 113 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,639 here in the UK, you might know me as the teacher from "Mean 114 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,919 Girls," or you might remember a long time ago when I played 115 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,200 Sarah Palin on "SNL" US. 116 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,279 Or maybe you feel like you recognize me as the lady 117 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,279 from the show "Veep." 118 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,279 And that's fine too. 119 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,039 Let's go with that. 120 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,919 So why do a UK version of "SNL." 121 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,479 Well, like so many large-scale American operations 122 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,719 these days, no one really knows why. 123 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,999 But here's what this is, OK? 124 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,599 It is a sketch comedy show. 125 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,359 There will be a different celebrity host each week. 126 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,239 There will be music performances. 127 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:08,199 And the show is truly live, so things may go wrong. 128 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,999 Things may have already gone wrong. 129 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,479 My pants were supposed to be full length. 130 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,959 And I'm so excited for you to meet your cast. 131 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,239 They are wonderful. 132 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,159 I can't even begin to understand 133 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,359 them when they speak. 134 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:27,119 One boy is either Scottish or choking. 135 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,319 But their energy is A plus. 136 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,839 And I am going to stay out of their way tonight 137 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,119 as much as possible. 138 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,759 I am just here, as a longtime "SNL" 139 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:40,479 employee to help out and to answer any questions anyone 140 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,679 might have of what to expect. 141 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:42,679 Oh, hi. 142 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:43,679 Yeah, Nicola Coughlan. 143 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:44,679 Hi. 144 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,879 Hi. 145 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,399 It is lovely to see you. 146 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,279 But my question is, if this is "SNL UK," then 147 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,959 why are you the first host? 148 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,519 Shouldn't it be like a British icon, 149 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,719 like David Beckham or-- or Judi Dench or, like, Shrek? 150 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:02,919 Yeah, Shrek. 151 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,959 Wait, Shrek is British? 152 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,159 Scotland is in Britain, Tina. 153 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,759 Educate yourself. 154 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,359 Sorry, my apologies. 155 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,479 Well, that is a valid question, why an American host. 156 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,759 And the way it was explained to me 157 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,159 was that for this first episode, anyway, um, 158 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,079 how do I put this politely? 159 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,759 None of you fuckers would do it. 160 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:25,759 Does that make sense? 161 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,079 Yeah, it does, it does. 162 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,159 But is it possible that many of us 163 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,559 were a little reluctant to be in the first show 164 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,359 because this is going out in Britain, 165 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,559 and British people tend to root for the failure of others? 166 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,799 Yes! 167 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,759 Yeah, yeah, why are you guys like that? 168 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,879 Well, not me. 169 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,799 I'm Irish. 170 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,839 Educate yourself. 171 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,879 Yes. 172 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,039 Look, that all is to say, if this show is a hit, 173 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,679 and if you do ever happen to get 174 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,199 Olly Murs for musical guest, I would be honored to come 175 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,479 back and win a BAFTA for it. 176 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,399 Amazing! 177 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,559 That's great to know. 178 00:09:58,560 --> 00:09:59,560 Thank you, Nicola. 179 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,399 Any-- any other questions? 180 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,839 Oh, sure. Michael Cera. 181 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,000 Hi. 182 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,159 Hi, Tina. 183 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,359 Hi, Michael. 184 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,599 Why are you here? 185 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,079 You're not British. - No, no. 186 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,159 I'm Canadian. 187 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,119 It's part of the Commonwealth. 188 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,119 Educate yourself. 189 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,039 Sorry. 190 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,759 No, I don't really have a question. 191 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,199 But I just wanted to say, I think-- 192 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,959 I think you just swore a second ago. 193 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,999 You said the F word. 194 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,519 Oh, yeah. 195 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,159 We are allowed to swear in this version of the show. 196 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,559 It's crazy. 197 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,039 But can I try? 198 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,759 Sure, if you want to. 199 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,999 Shitbird. 200 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,839 Just fucking bollocks! 201 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,759 Yeah, I think I would use it sparingly. 202 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,119 It feels kind of unclassy. 203 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,279 Yeah, you know what? You're right. 204 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,279 I agree, Michael. 205 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,279 That's a great note. 206 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,399 Thank you so much. 207 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,959 I think we have time for one more. 208 00:10:58,960 --> 00:10:59,959 Oh, yes. 209 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,039 Graham Norton! 210 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,639 So nice to see you. 211 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,679 I just wondered, did you know that this is usually my studio? 212 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,359 Yeah, I did hear that, Graham. 213 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,919 Thank you for loaning it to us. 214 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,639 Oh, would you mind if I came up 215 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,199 there and just showed you a fiddly thing about this place? 216 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,279 Oh, I would love it. Come on. 217 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,239 Graham Norton, everybody. 218 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,159 Come on up. 219 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,159 Yeah. 220 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,359 Great. 221 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,279 Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. 222 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,679 Yeah, sure. 223 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,399 Now, Tina, I believe you've always had 224 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,439 a deep love of British comedy. 225 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,279 Are you interviewing me now? 226 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,439 Let me help you. 227 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,519 I have a gift for making American celebrities 228 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,279 likable to a British audience. 229 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,119 Wait, are we not likable? 230 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,280 Oh. 231 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,399 Hey, I hear you have a really funny 232 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,399 story about watching British television 233 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,679 as a-- as a young child. 234 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:51,919 Oh, well, yes. 235 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,719 Actually, growing up, we thought that anything 236 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,319 British was educational. 237 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,679 So my parents showed us all British shows. 238 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,359 And we used to watch "Benny Hill" as a family. 239 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,199 No. 240 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,999 As a young girl, you would watch "Benny Hill"? 241 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,439 Yeah. 242 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,239 It really messed me up sexually. 243 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,599 What about "Ab Fab"? 244 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,959 Oh, sweetie, darling, you're just 245 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,119 a little shopgirl, darling. 246 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,479 "Keeping up Appearances." 247 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,279 Richard! 248 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,759 Oh, And "Monty Python." 249 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,279 That is an ex-parrot. 250 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,319 "Fawlty Towers." 251 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,919 Nobody mention the war. 252 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,119 "Are You Being Served?" 253 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,759 My pussy is like an alarm clock. 254 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,199 "Reggie Perrin." 255 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,119 I didn't get where I am today by waffling. 256 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,519 Deep cut "Monty Python." 257 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,599 We lived in shoe box in middle of road. 258 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,719 "EastEnders." 259 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,119 I killed Ethel. 260 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,399 Oh, mwah! 261 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:42,319 And David-- David Brent. 262 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,519 There's been a rape up there! 263 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,479 Top trends. 264 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,999 Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday! 265 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,519 ♪ Autoglass repair ♪ 266 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,799 ♪ Autoglass replace ♪ 267 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:51,799 Oh! 268 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,399 That's it, Tina. 269 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,919 They're all yours now, Tina. All yours. 270 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:55,919 Thank you. 271 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,039 We've got a great show. 272 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,119 Wet Leg is here. 273 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,799 Stick around and watch this! 274 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:08,279 When it comes to age-defying skincare, 275 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,319 I don't need a time machine. 276 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,599 I just need something that works. 277 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,079 So I can bring back the spark in me. 278 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,680 And in us. 279 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,719 And now I've found it. 280 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,919 The anti-aging cream that works so well, everyone 281 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,719 will think your husband-- 282 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,719 is a nonce. 283 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,079 She's my wife. 284 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,959 She's a grown woman. - Shut your mouth! 285 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,160 You make me sick. 286 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,479 Introducing Undérage. 287 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,759 With active compounds and hyaluronic acid, 288 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,399 Undérage delivers special protection for your skin 289 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,359 and ensures your husband will need special protection 290 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,999 when he's in jail. 291 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,679 My wife's skin has never looked more youthful and fresh. 292 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,239 It's destroyed my life! 293 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,879 Thanks, Undérage. 294 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,639 My skin looks so fresh, my husband can't go anywhere 295 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,319 without being hunted by right-wing, 296 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,879 pedophile-catching militias. 297 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,199 We know you're in there! 298 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,159 Frank, someone's at the door. 299 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,479 Thanks, Undérage. 300 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,919 My husband is no longer allowed 301 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,599 within 200 feet of a school. 302 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,919 My husband lost his record deal and some, 303 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,279 but not all, of his fans. 304 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,079 He loves the way I look. 305 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,199 Yeah. 306 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,799 But, you know, not like that. 307 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,799 Sorry. 308 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,359 Excuse me. 309 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,199 Little girl, do you know this man? 310 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,199 That's my wife. 311 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,679 You sick bastard. 312 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:41,079 He's married to an Undérage girl. 313 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,319 I'm married to an underage girl. 314 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,799 I don't know if I pronounced that right. 315 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,799 I don't know about that. 316 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,239 No, I didn't mean that. 317 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,199 No, it's the name of the thing. 318 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,959 Undérage. 319 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,639 I'm not underage. 320 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,639 Or am I? 321 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:57,639 She's not. 322 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:58,439 She's not! 323 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:02,199 Undérage by Pedolay. 324 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,119 Hello. 325 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,959 I'm David Attenborough. 326 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,240 And it can't be long now. 327 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:26,239 As the only remaining national treasure not on that list, 328 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:30,959 I enjoy a place as one of 90% of the British public's 329 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,319 dream dinner party guests. 330 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,839 But I'm often asked who would be on mine. 331 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:41,999 Well, using DNA sampling and my own brother's "Jurassic Park" 332 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,439 technology, I have reanimated some of history's greatest 333 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:51,359 Britons for one night only so that I can ask them what 334 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,199 really makes Britain great. 335 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:58,240 This is David Attenborough's "Last Supper." 336 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,519 I'd like to welcome my guests. 337 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,559 Prime Minister Winston Churchill. 338 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,879 Astronomer and mathematician Sir Isaac Newton. 339 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,359 Nurse Mary Seacole. 340 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,560 Diana, Princess of Wales. 341 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:29,199 Author Agatha Christie. 342 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,439 Poet Benjamin Zephaniah. 343 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,839 Freddie Mercury from Queen. 344 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,639 ♪ - Ay-oh! ♪ 345 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,159 Elizabeth I from being the Queen. 346 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,759 ♪ - Ay-oh! ♪ 347 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,199 Surprise, surprise, it's Cilla Black. 348 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,839 Ay-oh, Chuck! 349 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,599 Thanks so much for hosting this dinner party, Sir David. 350 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,479 You're very welcome, Princess Di. 351 00:16:54,480 --> 00:17:01,600 Now, as this cloning technology only works for one hour. 352 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,519 I'll cut to the chase. 353 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:12,519 What do you think makes Britain great? 354 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,119 Before we commence, there is a mystery 355 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,079 I should like to solve. 356 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,639 Are we doing starters? 357 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,719 I'm getting a starter. 358 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:22,839 I'm bleeding starving. 359 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:23,839 Yes. 360 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,479 Order whatever you like. 361 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:29,559 Tonight is about thrilling conversation and the greatness 362 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:30,719 of Great Britain. 363 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,399 Yes, Winston Churchill? 364 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,759 Shall we get three starters for the table 365 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,279 and do picky bits? 366 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,439 ♪ - Ay-oh! ♪ 367 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,999 Freddie says he wants the croquettes. 368 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:42,999 Oh. 369 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,679 Oh, yeah. 370 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,320 I'd have the croquettes, but I only want a little nibble. 371 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,719 Well, hang on, hang on. 372 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,559 By my calculations, there are three croquettes in one order 373 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:00,679 and 10 of us. 374 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,959 Therefore, if we order three portions, 375 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,559 one person will miss out. 376 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,879 The solution is simple. 377 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,759 We order four. 378 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,519 That means that three people will get two croquettes. 379 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,799 But who? 380 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,199 Another mystery. 381 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,159 Look, look, look, look, look. 382 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,839 Don't-- don't worry about the food. 383 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:21,679 The BBC have spared no expense bringing you back to life. 384 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:26,359 I'm sure they're happy to cover one dinner at the Ivy. 385 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:30,439 Now, as to the source of Britain's greatness. 386 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,919 Not to be that person, but I don't like croquettes. 387 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,959 I'd rather get the soup. 388 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,239 Hang about. 389 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,839 That's a lot of starter just for you. 390 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,079 Freddie is right. 391 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,079 We shouldn't all have to pay for your starter. 392 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,079 Well, no one's paying. 393 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,279 No one's paying. 394 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,799 It's-- It's covered, guys. 395 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,879 Tonight is about scintillating conversation 396 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,879 and learning from each other. 397 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:55,879 Yes? 398 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,399 Benjamin Zephaniah. 399 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,319 Do you think each curry comes with a free rice? 400 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,799 If it has an asterisk next to its name, 401 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,520 then it comes with free rice. 402 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,079 ♪ People on the street ♪ 403 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,399 You're right, Freddy, there are some people on the street, 404 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,159 but that doesn't answer the question about poppadoms. 405 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,959 Stop it! 406 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,359 Stop it now! 407 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:23,119 It doesn't matter what we have to eat. 408 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,439 Put that down! 409 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,440 Put it-- 410 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,119 This experiment has been a complete waste 411 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,519 of time and money. 412 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,639 The answer I was looking for as to 413 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:39,159 what makes Britain truly great was the NHS and Center Parcs. 414 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,959 There you've ruined it. 415 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,240 Dinner over. 416 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,959 Now, we shall move on to the lovemaking 417 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,480 portion of the evening. 418 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:56,999 Anybody who wants to leave, now's your chance. 419 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,199 Head over to iPlayer now to see 420 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,759 @the full uncut edition of Davidú Attenborough's Last Supper. 421 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,639 Heya, how you doing? 422 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,919 I'm Ed Boovies. 423 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,159 Welcome to Boovies goes to the Films, the show 424 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,999 about all things cinema. 425 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,719 And this is a very special day. 426 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,479 I'm pinching myself, to be honest. 427 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,440 @ We've got Ricky Hall and Lena Phillips in the house! 428 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,319 - What's happening? - Good to be here. 429 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,079 They're here to talk to us through their new film, 430 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,239 "Hot Streak." 431 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,039 And they are two icons of cinema! 432 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,119 I hope you don't mind me saying. 433 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,079 No, I don't mind at all. 434 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,079 Keep saying it. 435 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:15,119 Lena, I've been a fan since your first film, "Sunrise Eyes" 436 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,079 Wow, that's a deep cut. 437 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,719 Yeah. 438 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,199 Cult classic alert. 439 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:25,679 And Ricky, "Crazy Goat," underrated movie. 440 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,199 - Thanks so much, man. - No, no. 441 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,879 Thank you. 442 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,399 I guess I'm trying to say, I love you and your work so much. 443 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,679 I hope that's not too creepy. 444 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,879 Oh, thank you. 445 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,279 Thanks so much, man, wow. 446 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,039 OK, so let's talk about "Hot Streak." 447 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,159 I watched this last night. 448 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,760 It fucking sucked. 449 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,199 Excuse me? 450 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,359 It sucked. 451 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,319 So bad, like all the way through. 452 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,520 What happened? 453 00:21:58,800 --> 00:21:59,799 Um. 454 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,760 Lena, you first. 455 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,039 Yeah, well, we loved working on this movie. 456 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,999 Yeah, it was a dream to work with Vicky, our director. 457 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,559 But why did it suck so bad, like all the way through? 458 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,199 Well, I don't think it sucked. 459 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,719 It did. 460 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,799 Did it? 461 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,039 Yeah, all the way through. 462 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,119 Where's our PR? 463 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:22,719 No, no, he's gone to get me some fruit. 464 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:23,720 Look. 465 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,359 I could be wrong. 466 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,079 I don't think I am, but I could be. 467 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,279 Let's check out a clip. 468 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,999 You have to listen to me, you're our only hope. 469 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,120 Oh, boo! 470 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,439 This is sucking so bad. 471 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,279 Ricky, you're not even acting there. 472 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,239 I mean, you are acting, but it's so wrong and sour, 473 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,599 you know? 474 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,799 No, no, stop the tape, stop the tape. 475 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,720 It's just-- that sucks. 476 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,279 I just-- 477 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,319 I just know if you tried, if everyone tried 478 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,399 and like gave you everything, we could have got there. 479 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,039 It didn't have to be good, you know. 480 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,279 I don't need good. 481 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,359 I just need it not to fucking suck, 482 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,799 like, all the way through. 483 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,239 Can everything stop sucking all the time? 484 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,079 Because it's making my life bad. 485 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,359 Is that too much to ask? 486 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,839 Please. 487 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:25,839 Sorry. 488 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,159 We're-- we're sorry. 489 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,919 That's OK. 490 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,639 Join us next time on "Boovies goes to the Films." 491 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,799 I'm Ed Boovies wishing you a decent day. 492 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,159 Awe, get in, legend, thanks. 493 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,399 Get to work. 494 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,079 What a time to be alive, people. 495 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,399 My name is Turpin Turpin. 496 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:48,599 Yep. 497 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:49,999 @ Both my names are Turpin. Great job. 498 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,599 All right. Jan, how are we doing? 499 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:52,439 Good. - Yeah. 500 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,959 What do we do here? 501 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,319 We're all working together to make the internet as 502 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,719 bad as we can possibly get it. 503 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,239 It's a team effort. 504 00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,719 I'm Jan. 505 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,999 I'm almost 19 and I'm the password manager. 506 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,519 @ Essentially, my job is justú before you enter in a short, 507 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,799 @memorable password of your own,ú I come up with a very long 508 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,959 and complicated one, hoping I'll remember 509 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,639 it and then I don't. 510 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:13,919 I'm the X-Man. 511 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,599 I do all the x's for online adverts. 512 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,719 @ We try and make them smaller than any human finger. 513 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,479 Even if you do notice it, what does an x even mean? 514 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,319 Sometimes it can mean close this window. 515 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,199 Sometimes it can mean open four more windows. 516 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,719 It can be either. 517 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,159 I think most people think it's the first one. 518 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,720 Most people voted for Hitler. 519 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,959 Sorry. 520 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,279 I'm online a lot. 521 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,919 I don't know what's real. 522 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,039 The thing is, is there are websites that no one would 523 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,679 ever intentionally visit. 524 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,679 You know, no one actually wants to enter the r house draw. 525 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,839 No one is really owed money just for being 526 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,159 born between 1995 and 1997. 527 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,599 And no one intentionally clicks on "Family Guy" 528 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,439 porn, except me. 529 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,599 But that's only because of how much I like to look at it. 530 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,599 Good, people. 531 00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,759 This is good. 532 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:00,959 Whoa! 533 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,479 My speciality? 534 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,079 I'm the guy who moves things at the last second 535 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,639 so that people clickú on the wrong stuff online. 536 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,559 OK, she's about to click stand by. 537 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:16,799 Standing by. 538 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,999 She's hovering. 539 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,559 Sh-- she's hovering. 540 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,320 And budge it. 541 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,079 Buy something! 542 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,079 Annoying. 543 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,679 Yes! 544 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,039 That's five seconds she won't get back. 545 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:47,279 Sir, we got her. 546 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,319 Oh, this is beautiful. 547 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,559 Do you get paid? 548 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,839 No, no no, no. 549 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:54,839 But let me ask you this. 550 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:55,959 Let me ask you this. 551 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,039 Do you get paid for your job? 552 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,200 Yeah. 553 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,559 Interesting. 554 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,799 Gosh, 10 hours of labor. 555 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,119 Doesn't look like this little man's in a rush. 556 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,719 Why is it taking so long? 557 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,119 Don't worry, he's just a bit-- he's just a bit shy. 558 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,679 Aw. 559 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,159 Aw look it, he's just sort of hiding. 560 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,599 Bless him. 561 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,359 There's not wrong with being shy, is there? 562 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,719 Oh, not wrong at all. 563 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,799 I think I prefer a shy one, to be honest. 564 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:50,799 Out of my way. 565 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,079 I'm Dr. Amanda Miller. 566 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,679 I graduated Harvard summa cum laude. 567 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,959 My kids are very mean to me, but I don't have time 568 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,279 to get into that right now. 569 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,519 Wait, why is the obstetrician here? 570 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,399 He's just a bit shy, isn't he? 571 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,879 I wish that was the case. 572 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,039 I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cook, but your baby is not shy. 573 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,319 He's something much more sinister. 574 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,400 He's pretending to be shy for attention. 575 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,519 And we need to act fast before it metastasizes. 576 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,199 This all seems a bit dramatic. 577 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,839 Well, unless you want your son 578 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,199 to be an adult man who is addicted to canceling plans, 579 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,320 let me do my goddamn job. 580 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,559 Well, wait. 581 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:32,799 Hang on. 582 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,479 What-- what if he's shy around strangers, 583 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,039 but he lets his guard down around people he trusts? 584 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,999 Like an introverted extrovert? 585 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,839 Yeah, those are essentially a myth. 586 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,439 Most people who make a big deal out of being shy 587 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,679 are, medically speaking, fake ass divas. 588 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,079 No son of mine's going to be a fake ass diva! 589 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,719 I mean, look, I'm no doctor. 590 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,119 I'm just a stupid rocket scientist, 591 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,279 but I think he's genuinely shy. 592 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,560 OK, but like, now he's dancing. 593 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,719 I'm just like, why-- why would a genuinely shy person do that? 594 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,119 Wait, he's-- he's quite good. 595 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:21,719 My God, he is quite good! 596 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,839 He's not amazing, but he's quite good. 597 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,279 He's got spirit. 598 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,319 You can tell he's actually enjoying himself. 599 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:33,159 Hey, ho. 600 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,639 Mr. and Mrs. Cook, this is serious. 601 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,919 An authentically shy person would not 602 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,000 pop their puss in this manner. 603 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,399 Oh, Harry, maybe she's right. 604 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,959 What if our son is giving cringe? 605 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,999 Only claiming to be socially awkward when it suits him-- 606 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,439 slash them. 607 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,279 Sitting in the corner at parties because he gets 608 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,879 overwhelmed, but then he's the loudest 609 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:03,159 and most abrasive person there by quite some distance. 610 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,999 The type of bitch to give a presentation at work 611 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,479 can make the whole thing about how nervous 612 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,319 he is, even though it's like, girl, 613 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,439 you volunteered to do this. 614 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:12,999 Oh, no. 615 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,199 Now he's holding his hands out to show that they're shaking, 616 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,679 but it's obvious it's him that's making it happen. 617 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,919 Doctor, do something! 618 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,879 Grab a leg. 619 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,639 Honey, are you the diamond in my wedding ring? 620 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,359 Because you are fake as hell and we 621 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,999 can see right through you, OK? 622 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,479 OK, well, he's dancing again. 623 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,759 Oh, God. 624 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,079 Doctor, please, we just want him 625 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,759 out of there safe and sound. 626 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,159 Fine. 627 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,839 I promised myself I would never do this. 628 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,319 Hey, sweetie? 629 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,359 How are you feeling? 630 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,039 So, a bunch of us are thinking of doing karaoke. 631 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,039 Oh, stop. 632 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,599 Don't leave without me! 633 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,959 But I'm literally just going to watch. 634 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,959 He's coming. 635 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,919 Congratulations! 636 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,319 He's a nightmare! 637 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:18,240 ♪ Hey, ho ♪ 638 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,399 Ladies and gentlemen, Wet Leg. 639 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,479 ♪ Nice try, get out the way ♪ 640 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,319 ♪ You're in our way ♪ 641 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,359 ♪ You bottom feeder ♪ 642 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,879 ♪ Too bad you couldn't stay ♪ 643 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,119 ♪ You're in our way ♪ 644 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:59,399 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 645 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:00,639 ♪ You think I'm pretty ♪ 646 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,039 ♪ You think I'm pretty cool ♪ 647 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,319 ♪ You want to fuck me ♪ 648 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,559 ♪ I know most people do ♪ 649 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,119 ♪ Here, take this packet, ♪ 650 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,159 ♪ You read it, it says, "Mangetout" ♪ 651 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,639 ♪ I gave you magic beans ♪ 652 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,759 ♪ I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 653 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,519 ♪ Oh, man, I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 654 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,719 ♪ I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 655 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:28,479 ♪ Oh, man, I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 656 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,159 ♪ Good job, give you an A ♪ 657 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:36,079 ♪ A gold star, you think you're clever ♪ 658 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,199 ♪ Good God, she took a break ♪ 659 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:44,919 ♪ Made a mistake, when she met Trevor ♪ 660 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:57,039 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 661 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,399 ♪ You think I'm pretty ♪ 662 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,799 ♪ You think I'm pretty cool ♪ 663 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:01,959 ♪ You want to fuck me ♪ 664 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,159 ♪ I know most people do ♪ 665 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,559 ♪ Here, take this packet ♪ 666 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,759 ♪ You read it, it says, "Mangetout" ♪ 667 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,239 ♪ I gave you magic beans ♪ 668 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,239 ♪ I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 669 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,679 ♪ I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 670 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,319 ♪ Oh, man, I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 671 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,919 ♪ I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 672 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:26,559 ♪ I know you're up at night ♪ 673 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,239 ♪ Hunched over your phone like ♪ 674 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,559 ♪ A tree atop a hill ♪ 675 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:37,319 ♪ That's crooked from the wind that bites ♪ 676 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,959 ♪ You say you're lost at sea ♪ 677 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,479 ♪ Call the RNLI ♪ 678 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,599 ♪ You're washed up, irrelevant, ♪ 679 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:51,839 ♪ And standing in my light ♪ 680 00:32:51,840 --> 00:33:01,919 ♪ You're standing in my light ♪ 681 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:05,999 ♪ You think I'm pretty ♪ 682 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,239 ♪ And you think I'm pretty cool ♪ 683 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,439 ♪ You say I scare ya ♪ 684 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,639 ♪ I know most people do ♪ 685 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,239 ♪ This is the real world, honey, bienvenue ♪ 686 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,759 ♪ In spite of everything ♪ 687 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,239 ♪ I guess there's just no getting through ♪ 688 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,679 ♪ Nice try, get out of the way ♪ 689 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,439 ♪ Good job, just take a fucking hint ♪ 690 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,839 ♪ I said I'll see ya, ♪ 691 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,439 ♪ Wouldn't wanna be ya, ♪ 692 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:32,279 ♪ Be ya, eh-ya eh-ya, ah-ah ♪ 693 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:36,279 ♪ Nice try, get out the way ♪ 694 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,159 ♪ You're in our way ♪ 695 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,159 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 696 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:18,000 It's Weekend Update with Ania Magliano and Paddy Young. 697 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,879 Good evening and welcome to Weekend Update. 698 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:26,879 I'm Paddy Young. 699 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:28,440 And I'm Ania Magliano. 700 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,559 Coming up on tonight's Weekend Update, pedophilia. 701 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:40,639 But first, war. 702 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,999 Yesterday, in a shock U-turn, Keir Starmer finally 703 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,959 gave his consent for President Trump 704 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,759 to use British bases to protect the Strait of Hormuz, at which 705 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,599 point Trump said, "Consent? 706 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,480 Now you've taken all the fun out of it." 707 00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:59,319 As Iranian strikes continue to hit Dubai, 708 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,079 the cost of chartering a private jet 709 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,439 has risen so high that many influencers 710 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,279 have been struggling to flee. 711 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,320 I must stress, though, it's not all good news. 712 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,359 If any influencers are killed-- and again, 713 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,159 we can only hope they are-- 714 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:19,799 at least they'll be easy to identify 715 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,399 by their dental records. 716 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:25,079 Say, the massive white ones made in Turkey. 717 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,359 You got to feel for them. 718 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:27,839 They went there to evade income tax 719 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,399 and now they have to evade incoming attacks. 720 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,559 We're now three weeks into the Iran war, 721 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,359 which started with the death of one 722 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,279 Ayatollah Khomeini and the appointment 723 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,959 of another Ayatollah Khomeini. 724 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,240 Khomeini II, but one's dead now. 725 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,239 OK. 726 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:51,719 Not everyone in NATO wants to get involved. 727 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:54,439 German Defense Minister Boris Pistorius 728 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,799 said there would be no military participation from Germany. 729 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:03,439 Where was this energy in 1939? 730 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:08,679 Also, is there a more evil name than Boris Pistorius? 731 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:09,719 How do you do? 732 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:11,360 The name's Saddam Walliams. 733 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,879 The head of the Asian Football Confederation said 734 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,439 this week that Iran is still set to play at the upcoming 735 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,519 World Cup in America if Iran does take part, 736 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,239 America has guaranteed that all of their matches 737 00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:29,999 will be refereed by a completely 738 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,560 impartial MQ-9 Reaper drone. 739 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,199 We all know the supply of oil has been affected by this war, 740 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,799 but the Strait of Hormuz is also 741 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,679 the primary route for a third of the world's helium. 742 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,240 A spokesperson for the helium industry said-- 743 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,160 We've run out of helium. 744 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,919 With pressure mounting to secure the Strait of Hormuz and 745 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,999 the Royal Navy almost completely out of action, 746 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,599 the government have decided to send 747 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:14,399 in the only British Naval captain who's ready to go. 748 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,079 Please welcome Captain Birdseye. 749 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,319 Yar! 750 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,199 Evening, me hearties. 751 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,999 Now, captain, I think the question 752 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,959 a lot of people at home are asking 753 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,439 is, why is the government sending a fish finger 754 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,999 man to a red hot war zone? 755 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,879 Fish finger man? 756 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,479 @I am the purveyor of the finestú fish fingers in the land. 757 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:44,199 Succulent cod fillets in a perfectly crispy golden crumb. 758 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,239 Only the best for the captain's table. 759 00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:47,599 Fish finger? 760 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,079 Captain Birdseye, can I remind you, 761 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,799 this is a military operation. 762 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:51,879 Exactly. 763 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,639 Preparation, timing, control. 764 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,679 Six minutes one side, turn, six minutes the other. 765 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,759 Now that's what I call a proper fish finger. 766 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,279 Fish finger? 767 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,039 You're about to be deployed to Iran. 768 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,999 Can you stop banging on about fish fingers? 769 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,519 Fine, we also do chicken dippers, 770 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,999 potato waffles, and for some reason, the devil only 771 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,479 knows, peas. 772 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,679 Captain, there are real lives at stake here. 773 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,999 Oh, you want to get real, do you, 774 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,279 you scurvy little deck rat? 775 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,919 All right, answer me this. 776 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,999 You think I spent the last five decades sailing around 777 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:32,119 in 150-foot schooner with 300 singing children just 778 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,759 to sell fish fingers, do ye? 779 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,359 I'm sorry, did you say 300 singing children? 780 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,039 Cause I'll tell you what's real, 781 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,919 you bilge drinking haddock. 782 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,599 What's real is the nation's favorite fish fingers 783 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,279 are just a cover for my actual work. 784 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,839 Special Forces Black Ops savagery that 785 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:50,439 would haunt your dreams. 786 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,679 What's real is opening up a Serbian mercenary's neck 787 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,119 with a machete. 788 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,119 Watching it yawn open, hot and steaming, 789 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,799 like a split fish finger. 790 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:01,999 This is insane. 791 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,079 Insane? 792 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,319 I'll show you insane! 793 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:07,639 Are those human fingers? 794 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:12,119 Only the best for the captain's table! 795 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,959 Captain Birdseye, everyone. 796 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,559 Never meet your heroes! 797 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,479 Renovations to Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's new home, 798 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,599 Marsh Farm, have been taking place over the last month, 799 00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,079 including the installation of Sky TV. 800 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,479 So if you're watching, Andrew, hello. 801 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,159 You're not going to like this next bit. 802 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,080 Also, I'm older than I look. 803 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,319 Andrew's new residence, Marsh Farm 804 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,199 is, of course, named after the nearby marsh 805 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,760 where his body will be found. 806 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,839 It was reported this week that the police investigation 807 00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:58,919 into Andrew is set to widen. 808 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,599 The big question now is, if Andrew 809 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,239 is charged, found guilty, and put in prison, 810 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,279 will he be able to keep his mouth shut? 811 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,680 I hope not, said his cellmate's penis. 812 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,759 Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch told Times Radio that 813 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,159 she would confront a shoplifter if they were, 814 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,159 quote, "not too big." 815 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:25,999 So rest assured, if you shoplift and 816 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,120 Kemi does try to stop you, it means she thinks you're skinny. 817 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,759 In showbiz news, feuding father and son David and 818 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,079 Brooklyn Beckham narrowly miss each other whilst 819 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,159 at the same Beverly Hills Hotel. 820 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,399 The feud began when Victoria was, quote, 821 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,279 "inappropriately close with her son at his wedding" 822 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,199 and escalated after Brooklyn accidentally 823 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,760 yelled out his wife's name during sex with his mom. 824 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,439 The award-winning TV series "It's a Sin" 825 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,559 is set to be adapted for the stage as a dance show. 826 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:09,040 As if a TV show about the AIDS crisis could get any gayer. 827 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,679 Tonight, the K-pop band BTS are launching 828 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,159 their new world tour. 829 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:21,439 My worry is, with 82 dates across 23 countries, 830 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,559 the stress of the tour is going to put a strain on Jimin 831 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,279 and V's soulmate relationship. 832 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,399 Sure, J-hope nurtures Suga's inner child, 833 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,879 but will Jimin's teasing of Suga make V jealous? 834 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,439 And can RM give enough skinship to Baby Jungkook 835 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,079 while melting at J-hope's laugh? 836 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,439 Will his dimples still be popping at Jimin's cuteness 837 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,519 after an 82 date tour? 838 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,119 No idea. 839 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,159 I'm not really that into BTS. 840 00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,119 For Weekend Update, I'm Ania Magliano. 841 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:48,119 And I'm Paddy Young. 842 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:49,839 Good night! 843 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,759 Please be safe in London, Will. 844 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,839 Nay, worry not, wife. 845 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,839 I will be nothing but safe. 846 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,159 For all I will think of is returning to thee 847 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,359 and our boy Hamnet. 848 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,039 What about our daughters? 849 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,519 I must away. 850 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:49,119 My production of "The Tempest," begins anon. 851 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,280 Adieu! 852 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:05,520 "Tempest" was a hit. 853 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:12,679 Methinks I might write another of these plays. 854 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,839 Will, thou art returned! 855 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,039 Did I not tell thee I would? 856 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,839 But hast thou nothing to say? 857 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,279 I have sorely missed thee. 858 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,159 Likewise, my dear wife, likewise. 859 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:29,600 But dost thou not think I appear changed? 860 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,599 Tis hard to fix my eyes on anything 861 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,039 for the blood that doth course in mine veins 862 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,159 on the sweet return of thee to me. 863 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,200 Mm, ye, really look at me, though. 864 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,279 What vexes thee? 865 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,440 I got a cunty little earring. 866 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,679 Ah, so it is. 867 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,999 The hour is upon me. 868 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,279 I must to London! 869 00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:02,079 My staging of "Macbeth" awaiteth. 870 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:07,159 Well, Will, I will wait upon thy return. 871 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,999 William, thou art returned. 872 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,679 Good day, wife. 873 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,480 Good day, Hamnet. 874 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:39,719 Will, how London hath changed thee. 875 00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:43,640 Come, wife, let me sit and put my feet up. 876 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,719 What art thou wearing? 877 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,999 Oh, dislike it? 878 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:52,800 'Tis me slutty little chain. 879 00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:00,279 'Tis all the rage in London. 880 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,080 I must, to London. 881 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,719 My next staging awaits-- 882 00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:09,079 "Henry IV part two." 883 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,559 Henry V! 884 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:17,919 Let not London change thee too much. 885 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:33,200 Well, thy father have returneth. 886 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,000 Hause! 887 00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:41,799 Whew. 888 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,480 Hey, family! 889 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:49,719 Will, mine eyes do not recognize thee. 890 00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,200 Girl, 'tis me, bitch! 891 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,199 Will, thou art a different man. 892 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,199 Peace, wife. 893 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,079 I be Shakespeare. 894 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:00,839 The remix be Troye Sivan. 895 00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,159 Tis not thee, Will. 896 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,519 'Tis so, bitch. 897 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,199 Thou art in Stratford-upon-Avon. 898 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,520 And I've been in London upon ketamine. 899 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:18,360 I'm like Charli XCX-- sorry, Charlie 10, 100, 10. 900 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,479 I'm in my glow era-- in my glow-- 901 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,599 I'm in my glow-up era, honey. 902 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,719 What's an era? 903 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,799 We are in one, bitch. 904 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:34,119 Mine! 905 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,839 My wife, I bring gifts. 906 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:40,119 This is called a tote bag. 907 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,240 I want that not. 908 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,439 Wig, my girl. 909 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:51,799 Thoust look cunty, for sure. 910 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,119 What does this c-word mean? 911 00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:55,119 Hmm. 912 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:56,959 Methinks I can explain. 913 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:58,999 It's not a bad word. 914 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,959 It's a good thing, a great thing. 915 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:02,479 It's bleached brows. 916 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:06,599 It's the cast of "Desperate Housewives." 917 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:09,319 It's cabin crew, bald head on a woman, 918 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:10,959 the Elizabeth line, a thin woman 919 00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:12,479 eating a big plate of meat. 920 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,679 It is as though riddles play upon thy tongue. 921 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,639 Thou art just gagged. 922 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:24,759 Hamnet take the powder within your coin purse! 923 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:36,879 He'll be fine. 'Tis but a K-hole. 924 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,159 And you know what hitteth hard in the hole? 925 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,399 Rihanna, bitch. 926 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:56,159 ♪ We found love in a hopeless place ♪ 927 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,480 ♪ We found love in a hopeless ♪ 928 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,879 You've seen the film. 929 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,159 You've heard the musical. 930 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:33,319 Now experience the experience, The Live 931 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,799 Paddington Bear Experience. 932 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,439 This is so exciting. 933 00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:38,959 We can't believe we're actually going to meet Paddington, 934 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:40,279 aren't we? 935 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,719 We brought marmalade sandwiches! 936 00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,279 It's Clara's hen do. 937 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,439 And we got banned from Magic Mike 938 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,359 because Liz kept groping Magic Mike. 939 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,959 Watch out, Paddington. 940 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,279 I can't wait to meet that little bear. 941 00:48:56,480 --> 00:49:00,999 Welcome to 32 Windsor Garden. 942 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,479 At London's most immersive experience, 943 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,879 get closer to Paddington than ever before. 944 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:13,559 Now, who here would like to meet a very rare sort of bear? 945 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,039 Yay! 946 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,599 Janet! 947 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:17,679 Open the cage! 948 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,639 A place where memories last forever. 949 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,199 Paddington? 950 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:31,759 All right! 951 00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,719 Oh, why! 952 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,999 Ah! 953 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:40,999 Fine! 954 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,279 Take the sandwich. 955 00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,519 Take the sandwich! 956 00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,879 Why did we hire a real bear? 957 00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:48,279 Well, I know we wanted to hire the little actress 958 00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:51,199 from the musical, but she wanted too much money. 959 00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,559 And I had seen the bear in something. 960 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:54,559 He was amazing. 961 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:55,559 What was it? 962 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,959 The zoo, I had seen him at the zoo. 963 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,359 That was amazing. 964 00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,519 Yeah, well, I've lost half my face. 965 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:12,959 But I have made some memories. 966 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,359 None of that happened in the films. 967 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,199 That was a lot more blood than I thought there'd be. 968 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,119 And at Paddington's photo booth, 969 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,479 we'll be sure to capture all of the magic. 970 00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,479 Well, I was actually on a terrible date, 971 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:30,359 but let's just say I didn't need to ask for Angela. 972 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,759 I asked for Paddington. 973 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:37,479 "The Guardian" calls it "truly unforgettable." 974 00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,239 They said he likes marmalade. 975 00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:40,999 He doesn't like marmalade. 976 00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:44,119 He likes human hands. 977 00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:45,719 Marcus? 978 00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:48,559 I've always thought that three kids was a bit too many. 979 00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:50,680 And now I've got the optimum amount. 980 00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:54,119 None. 981 00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:57,079 "The Stage" says, "Inarguably immersive." 982 00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,519 Do I have any regrets? 983 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,639 Well, you know, in retrospect, maybe hot glue 984 00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,319 gunning the hat to the bear's head 985 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,039 may have made it more angry. 986 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,079 I'm taking it to Broadway, regardless. 987 00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:14,519 @ - The Live Paddington BearúExperience, book before June 25 988 00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,320 ú and get a free tetanus jab. 989 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:19,239 Found a foot. 990 00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:20,999 Has anyone lost a foot? 991 00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,639 No? 992 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:29,919 Once again, Wet Leg. 993 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,239 ♪ Can you catch a medicine ball? ♪ 994 00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:53,479 ♪ Can you catch yourself when you fall? ♪ 995 00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,079 ♪ You should be careful ♪ 996 00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:56,559 ♪ Do you catch my drift? ♪ 997 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,319 ♪ 'Cause what I really want to know is ♪ 998 00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,879 ♪ Can you catch these fists ♪ 999 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:05,999 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, ♪ 1000 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,599 ♪ Man down ♪ 1001 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:12,679 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1002 00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:14,759 ♪ Level up! ♪ 1003 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:16,999 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1004 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:21,839 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1005 00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,039 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1006 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,719 ♪ I just wanna fight ♪ 1007 00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:36,039 ♪ We're on our way to the club ♪ 1008 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:39,799 ♪ Stupid is as stupid does ♪ 1009 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:43,279 ♪ Limousine, racking up ♪ 1010 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,879 ♪ Ketamine, giddy up ♪ 1011 00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:49,479 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, ♪ 1012 00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,879 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ♪ 1013 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:53,799 ♪ Man down ♪ 1014 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,839 ♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪ 1015 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,239 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1016 00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:00,639 ♪ Level up! ♪ 1017 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,879 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1018 00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:07,439 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1019 00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:09,799 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1020 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,559 ♪ I just wanna fight ♪ 1021 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:18,999 ♪ He don't get puss ♪ 1022 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,279 ♪ He get the boot ♪ 1023 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,679 ♪ I saw him sippin' on dark fruit ♪ 1024 00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:23,359 ♪ This always happens late at night ♪ 1025 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:24,359 ♪ Some guy comes up, ♪ 1026 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,479 ♪ Says I'm his type ♪ 1027 00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,039 ♪ I just threw up in my mouth ♪ 1028 00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:28,919 ♪ When he just tried to ask me out ♪ 1029 00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,399 ♪ Don't approach me ♪ 1030 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:31,839 ♪ I just want to dance with my friends ♪ 1031 00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:36,959 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1032 00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,279 ♪ Man down ♪ 1033 00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:44,679 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1034 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:45,679 ♪ Level up! ♪ 1035 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:47,999 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1036 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:53,159 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1037 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,399 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1038 00:53:55,400 --> 00:54:00,239 ♪ I just wanna fight ♪ 1039 00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:02,399 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1040 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:07,079 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1041 00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,359 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1042 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:10,599 ♪ I just wanna fight! ♪ 1043 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,919 ♪ Man down ♪ 1044 00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:57,600 Four things, thank you. 1045 00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:13,159 Ugh, Jane, look at you, divorced, haggy, alone. 1046 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:17,079 What a sad little life, Jane. 1047 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,319 Fancy a bra fitting? 1048 00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,719 Uh, sure, yeah. 1049 00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:23,999 I've actually lost a ton of weight-- 1050 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,159 Oh, good for you. 1051 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,599 due to immense stress. 1052 00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:28,799 I have a bad life. 1053 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,239 I'm sorry to hear that. 1054 00:55:30,240 --> 00:55:31,839 Well, I'm just going to do round your top. 1055 00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:32,839 OK? 1056 00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:34,159 So here we go. 1057 00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,159 We've got the middle. 1058 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:36,439 That's 38 inches. 1059 00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,279 So, yeah, that's quite wide. 1060 00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:44,039 And cup size, that's a B, so it's small. 1061 00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,159 You're not happy with that? 1062 00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:46,439 Oh, no. 1063 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,799 38B, that's not exactly a sexy bra size. 1064 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,359 It feels, kind of, schlubby. 1065 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:53,759 Oh. 1066 00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,039 Would you like me to zhuzh? 1067 00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:57,399 Huh? 1068 00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:01,119 Zhuzh it up a bit for the surrounds. 1069 00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:02,439 What does that mean. 1070 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,039 A zhuzh for the surrounds. 1071 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:06,639 Right, OK. 1072 00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,279 So I come back in, and I zhuzh, right? 1073 00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:13,879 I very loudly make a point of how big your bra size is. 1074 00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:17,959 Theys out there don't know what you really measured as. 1075 00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,719 Wink, wink. 1076 00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:20,919 Is that a British thing? 1077 00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,120 It is a thing. 1078 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:24,759 Do you want give it a go? 1079 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:25,959 It is a free service. 1080 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,879 Sure. 1081 00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:28,919 Won't be long, ladies. 1082 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:30,039 I'm just doing a fitting. 1083 00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:31,999 Oh, my goodness! 1084 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,599 Wow! 1085 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:37,039 These are going to measure up nicely! 1086 00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,039 So we're going to start with the width. 1087 00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:42,879 Very petite, but your cup size is-- 1088 00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:44,119 Big? 1089 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,279 Big cup size, right? 1090 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:49,319 Oh, crikey, yeah, they've got a real weight 1091 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,679 to them Oh, fantastic! 1092 00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,839 In fact, I'm surprised-- 1093 00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,159 You don't topple over. 1094 00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,559 With a great-- 1095 00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:58,919 With a great big rack like that! 1096 00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:00,119 Love it. 1097 00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:01,359 Oh! 1098 00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:04,879 Oh, you nearly poked my eye out! 1099 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,919 Hey, you've heard of Pinocchio? 1100 00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:11,599 Well, you're like that, but the nose is big, lovely bazombas. 1101 00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:12,959 That OK? - Yeah. 1102 00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:13,959 That's good. 1103 00:57:15,240 --> 00:57:16,479 So I'm happy to tell you-- what 1104 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:17,919 size would you like, darling? 1105 00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:18,999 Big, but keep it classy. 1106 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,399 Like, double D is good. 1107 00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,799 Oh, no, we're going bigger than that. 1108 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:26,640 You're a gorgeous, petite, and perky 28G! 1109 00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,839 What an absolute pair. 1110 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,039 Now, how's that feel? 1111 00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,639 I feel amazing. 1112 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,719 Thank you so much, Miss? 1113 00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:43,559 Jugs, they call me Jugs. 1114 00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:45,279 All right. 1115 00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:47,999 Here we go. 1116 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,759 Put these back on the rack, Jackie. 1117 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,759 They were so far too small for this customers 1118 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:56,399 great big bozzies. 1119 00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,760 Lovely tits you got there, Miss. 1120 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:04,359 Jugs, wait. 1121 00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,999 Is there anything else that you could zhuzh for me, 1122 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,239 like, for the surrounds? 1123 00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,399 'Cause my 2026 was, kind of, rough. 1124 00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:15,039 Like, basically, I was responsible for editing 1125 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:18,240 this British film award ceremony and-- 1126 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,759 Let's just say I did not get it right. 1127 00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,639 It's a zhuzh for the surrounds, darling, 1128 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,479 not for the soul. 1129 00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,279 But you'll be all right with those 1130 00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:34,759 great big, wicked knockers. 1131 00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:35,959 Excuse me. 1132 00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,079 Regé-Jean Page, what are you doing 1133 00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,599 in the women's changing rooms? 1134 00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:46,039 Oh, it's a long and sexy story. 1135 00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,439 Listen, I don't usually do this, 1136 00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,679 but can I buy you a drink on the fifth floor, 1137 00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,999 next to the baby clothes and electricals? 1138 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,280 Sure, I could do that. 1139 00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,000 Thanks for changing my life. 1140 00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:07,639 Tiny, little tits. 1141 00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:08,679 They were small. 1142 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,559 Those tits were small. 1143 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,799 45 seconds with Fouracres. 1144 00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:26,279 ♪ What kind of Irish is your granddad? ♪ 1145 00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,279 ♪ What kind of Irish is your gramps? ♪ 1146 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:30,439 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1147 00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:31,799 I'm Anthony. 1148 00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,079 Which one of you little gobs threw a heap of fruits 1149 00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:34,479 at my window? 1150 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,319 You better tell me. 'Cause I know your dad! 1151 00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,839 And I know your dad! 1152 00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,639 ♪ What kind of Irish is your granddad? ♪ 1153 00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,159 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1154 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,359 Now that's a picture of me back in '82, on the 12th 1155 00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:46,759 of the King William Lodge. 1156 00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:48,879 And there's another one, the Blue Lancers and a-- 1157 00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,959 ♪ What kind of Irish is your grandfather? ♪ 1158 00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:53,239 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1159 00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,719 I'll bring it around the back, hey. 1160 00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,119 Put on new shoes, and don't worry about it. 1161 00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,879 Hey, any man's back. 1162 00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,279 ♪ What kind of Irish is your grandfather? ♪ 1163 01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:03,799 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1164 01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,799 ♪ Grainne Maol has come over the sea, ♪ 1165 01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:08,839 ♪ Armed forces with her as a guard ♪ 1166 01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:12,759 ♪ They are Irish themselves neither Gauls nor Spaniards ♪ 1167 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:16,159 ♪ And they will defeat Galloway ♪ 1168 01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,519 ♪ Oró It's your home life, ♪ 1169 01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,199 ♪ Oró 'It's your life 'home' ♪ 1170 01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:25,719 ♪ Óró 'Sé do bheatha 'bhaile, ♪ 1171 01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,599 ♪ Anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh! ♪ 1172 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:30,600 Wow! 1173 01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:34,239 Wow! 1174 01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,879 Nicola Coughlan from the "Dairy Girls." 1175 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,439 No, it's "Derry Girls." 1176 01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:42,159 It doesn't matter, Nicola Coughlan. 1177 01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:43,799 None of this is real. 1178 01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:44,799 Good night. 1179 01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:45,799 God bless. 1180 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,119 Love you. 1181 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:53,279 45 seconds with Fouracres. 1182 01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:03,359 My biggest thanks to Wet Leg, Nicola Coughlan, Michael Cera, 1183 01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:06,119 Graham Norton, Regé-Jean Page and a huge 1184 01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:09,039 thank you to the cast, and the writers, 1185 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:11,479 and everyone for welcoming me here and 1186 01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,639 making it such a great week. 1187 01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:14,719 Congratulations. 1188 01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,759 SNL UK is born!